Friday, August 12, 2011

Beat Your Kids (SAW)

Obama, Harper and Cameron got it all wrong (maybe not Cameron cause he said straight up that one of the reasons for the unrest in the UK is cause of bad parenting).  We don't need to spend millions of pounds or dollars on social programmes, prisons, behavioural drugs and the like to fix our social and political woes.  What we need is this:

We need to get like Rick James and forget English as the international language and make it five fingers instead (just not to the face or with any kind of malice).

We as a society spend way too much time trying to figure out how to solve the world's problems and we forget how parents (and the school system and religion) used to raise law abiding citizens.  They gave them one hard slap.

Here's my historical reasoning:

- Jesus was beat for the eternal sins and wrong doings of Christians until the end of time.  (And crucified for that matter.  Disclaimer: By no means am I saying to nail your children to a cross if they misbehave.)
- If Portuguese and Spanish parents in the 16th century gave their children a Slap-A-Week or "SAW" we would've of never had African slavery in the Americas.
- If mother and father Hitler gave their son a SAW, we would've never had the WWII and the Holocaust.
- Alexander Graham Bell was SAWed and he invented the telephone
- Bill Gates was SAWed and perfected a medium for me to write this blog
- Jim Balsille was SAWed and created BBM
- Martin Luther King Jr., Rosa Parks, Gandhi, Mother Teresa, all given SAWs as children.

Whether you like him or not, David Cameron manned up and blamed bad parenting for a lot of the underage rioters in the streets.  While I personally believe it is a much deeper issue of social inequality and limited economic opportunities of a disengaged youth (similar to the "Arab Spring") and one big ol' frig up system controlled by The (senile) Man, how else do you explain an 11 year old rioter?

When your 11 year old son leaves the house at midnight wearing a balaclava, hoodie, gloves, and a cricket bat in the middle of August and says "I'm going by Johnny to do homework", I think he's lying to you.  Not only is he lying to you, you're the bigger idiot allowing your child to be even up that late.  And when he comes home wearing 3 watches, a new pair of Jordans and smells like tear gas?  Oye.

Underage smoking and drinking: SAW
Kids talking back in school: SAW
Bullying: SAW
Child Obesity: SAW (especially while they're eating)
Youth Crime and Violence: SAW
Scabicals: SAW
Skinny Shorts (Capri Pants): SAW
Bad politicians: SAW

If people worry about what young people are doing to the world now, imagine what will happen when they are the ones running it.  Or worse yet, the ones taking care of an aging population.

Save a life and SAW your children.  They'll be the ones to thank you in the future.


  1. Children with smartphones Facebooking/blogging: SAW

    P.S. WTH is a scabical?

  2. hmm.. how does your Jesus comment relate to bad parenting?

  3. Scabical:

    Ya, the comment doesn't really relate to anything to be honest, lol. And really, speaking Rick James will throw this world into orbit.